cornocrapia :)

This is a picture I drew when I was board. I like the way it came out even thought its a bad drawing :) 

 

I am not into the holidays anymore, as in they are not enjoyable anymore. I used to look forward to the holidays when i was younger. But now that I'm in my twenties I don't  like pretending that our family of 5 care enough about each other to pretend to get along long enough to get through the day with little to no fighting. My house is not a place to be when its a holiday. We tend to fight more because we all gave up on trying to get along.

Last Thanksgiving, was so sad. There was no fighting, however we didnt eat together like a family. We didnt even try. Well dad wakes early in the morning to get the turkey in the oven. He stuffs it and puts it into the oven and goes back to bed. After a couple hours of sleeping he wakes again to check on the turkey. When the rest of us wake up we would help by making the veggies and the other foods that go along with Thanksgiving. I know Thanksgiving isnt about the food, its about being thankful for the things you have. But when your family is arguing and fighting with eachother there really isnt much to be thankful for. I end up wishing i was someone where else for the holidays. 

This year we are even more poor than last year. I'm getting one of those Thanksgiving baskets they hand out to poor families from school. I feel bad asking for one but we really need one. Who knows if our oven will even light this Thanksgiving, it has been acting up. Well we don't have a table to eat on so i wonder who this year is going to work. Last year dad and I picked at things while we waited for things to cool. He had drank so much he decided to take a nap before he ate. Mom and i, had to cut the food and serve our selves. It was sad. I ended just eating with mom in the living room. I don't remember what or where my nephew was during thanksgiving. Well this year he isn't going to be around like i hoped. He will be with his mother at her boyfriends house instead of hanging with his family like we all want. Well its will be just the three of us for Thanksgiving. Mom, Dad, and i. Last year we didn't bake pies like i love doing. They bought them. I was so upset. I always make the pumpkin pie. They bought a frozen pie. I refused to eat it. I wonder whats in the Thanksgiving basket from the school. I hope there is yummy foods that we need for Thanksgiving.

However this Thanksgiving is the one year anniversary of dating the person I'm dating. I'm so happy we made it one year and we still are happy. I hope it never ends. Well I wish i could have her with me when the food is done. It would be nice to eat with people i love. I love my family but it sucks how small our family will be when its Thanksgiving day. The person I'm dating will be busy for Thanksgiving. She goes to her families house and hags out with them. I wish i could go but i;m not welcome. I have a hard time fitting into their family. Most people in her family act like I'm just another person, which i like. But i don't feel like i am budding into things they do. Her family actually likes each other. They sit and eat meals together at least once a month. My family never does that. They are excited about holidays while my family just complains about what holidays is coming next. I cant wait to start my own holidays with my own family. so i can make them a happy time instead of having such sad memories. Its not fair.

I try to make the most of the holidays, but i feel like I'm the only one who is affected by the fact our holidays suck. Guess i am the one who is trying so hard to make a horrible holiday wonderful, and when i fail i cry.