So, I was going to use this blog as a way to get to know myself using the 30 day blog challenge a friend told me about. Welllllll, I changed my mind, like I tend to do. I have better ideas that are more useful, to me that is.. I'm going to use this blog to keep records of thoughts and feelings of many situations in my life. Not sure what will be said in the future, in this blog, but I hope to keep people interested in the things that are going on in my life. Though those things may be happy or incredibly sad. I do have a lot of things going on right now that are not so pleasant to deal with, but I'm doing my best to work through them.
I'm currently dating someone who is my world. SHE... lol is one of my good friends who I hope I will never have to lean to live with out. Yeah that's right... you herd me I'M DYING FIRST.... :) What I really mean is that I hope I never have to learn to live with out her because WE. (sad face) didn't work out. We talk about how we want to be friends even after we brake up. I just think that's wishful thinking. It all depends on the brake up weather or not we are able to talk. I know we will both want to keep in touch but there will be hurt feelings getting in the way. I don't want to louse her ever but if things don't work out, I'm risking lousing one of my best friends who have been there for one of the hardest parts on my life. We haven't been friends long, Just over a year. But we hit it off from the beginning. I was dating a different person when we first met but we were just friends then. When school started again, I had a MAJOR brake up. I was broken up with over the phone with no idea it was going to happen. Well a good friend was there to help me off the bridge railing (figuratively). If it wasn't not for them caring so much about me I would still be a mess with no hope for the future. I don't want to say they were my rebound person. She may be but I hope I can be forgiven for that. My love for them is pure. I don't exactly know what I was feeling or thinking during those hard days just under a year ago. But I"m so thankful for the brake up I had. There was no love in the last relationship that matches the love I feel now and have now. I had my hole life planned out before, but I'm able to say happily now that I don't want those plans now. I'm much happier now.
So on a not so fun side. My dad is an active drinker. He drinks a lot on weekends and I'm not sure how much he drinks during the week since she has work. I do however know he is now starting to deal with heath issues due to the massive amounts of drinking. He has acid reflex disease. Along with the inability to not walk into walls that have been in place since we moved in. OK so that isn't a heath problem due to drinking, but man is it fun to watch him bounce off of dressers, walls and even the door to his own room. I go to Alanon because of his drinking. He isn't planning on working on his drinking problem, so I decided to work on my own issues and forget about his. I know one day he will be on his death bed and will probably be apologizing for the wrongs he had done. I just hope I can except his true apologies. I forgive him now for what he is doing since I know its a disease. I just cant seem not to yell back when he calls me horrible names and says horrible things.Alanon helps me to deal with everything that is happening with him and how I deal with those things in my everyday life. Even when I'm not around him I need to learn not to control people and or the outcomes of different situations I encounter each day. Alanon helps me to do that.... poorly I might add. I definitely need to keep going forever. Even after I figure out how to work my program correctly.
So I have more going on in my life but I'll leave it for another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment