why?

I just want to start off by saying this is my facebook status at the moment:

Dear entertainment next door, (my sisters room)
            Please turn down the TV ( Your voices) I would like to finished what I as doing in peace (sleeping so I can go to work tomorrow) that is all.
                                   Love (gerrrrr) your neighbor. (better hope you don't wake dad,)


It is currently 123 Am. Its my favorite time ever  (clock shows 0123) but that doesn't mean I want to very drunk people to wake me up. I was sleeping all comfy in my covers with the ac on and dreaming nicely, when all of a sudden I felt I had left the TV on. So I wake up and open my eyes to see my room is dark with no TV going (scary..) I decided to stubble in the dark to the door. (biggg mistake) I see my sisters boyfriend sitting at the top of the stairs begging my sister to let him back into the room. She told him he wasn't coming back in until the puke was picked up. (so grouse she had puked on the floor by the door. She didn't even try to get it into a bowl or something.) She is so drunk that she cant even stand up with out stubbing around. When she drinks she gets giggly and very violent. She makes bad decisions daily while she is sober, she makes even dumber ones while drunk. She is so violent that while I was watching her she tried to push her boyfriend down the stairs, (but he was holding the wall so it didn't work) She then decided to grab his waist and throw him at the door of her room. which caused it to burst open spilling CD's all over the floor. (huge mess because they all landed in the puke which looks like she spit up water. ) She then tried to blame her boyfriend for the mess like she had nothing to do with it. I told her she needs to stop because i know even drunk people can semi not be dumb. Yeah things are funny but she really doesn't need to act so while. ( i could be wrong. She may be suffering from alcoholism just as my father is, and is unable to do anything normal while she is under its influence.)

I went downstairs to go pee and they followed me there. My sister tried to go outside. I locked the door but she got it open again. (didn't really care. She has been brought home so many times by the copes she knows them all by name and they know her address by heart. Including cops from other towns.) She recently was brought home for drinking on Hampton Beach (a dry beach) for drinking. She has to go to court and pay a $400 fine. And still hasn't learned. I don't think she ever will :( and she has a three year old. I asked her why she doesn't just go to bed and stop acting dumb and she said well dad does it why cant I. (my heart sank. She is saying what she is doing is fine because her own father does it. Well he likes to say mean comments to you as you walk by. Oh wait she does it too. She says she wants nothing to do with my father but yet, she is the closet thing to the original, just female and younger.

This is really hard to watch. They are funny to watch and very entertaining, however alcoholism has grabbed hold of them so strongly, and they don't even see it. It makes me wanna cry but whats the point, that would just be waisted tears. Tears solves nothing, I just need to sit back and wait for something to happen that was planned out for me without my doing. God please help them, they are hurting and could really use you right now.

So on top of a day where I swore if my luck didn't turn around I was gonna crash the car into a wall( so not joking) , i go to the gym (sort of like a walk i was asked to take many many times to feel better... something about endorphins) felt rather pleased with how I was feeling I went home and made dinner. Which turned out awesome. Soup with green beans, corn, carrots, onion (which Is flavoring not meant to eat), beef, spices, and potatoes. Yummm it turned out sooo good. I thought i was gonna hate it but I loved it. When the soup was finished cooking in the cork pot I called Lindsay had a short convo. and we both went to bed. And now I'm here tell you about my adventures of the drunken people. I really wish that i could escape this disease but as i see its everywhere i go. (not sure if I'm spotting it in places it isn't like friends to drink all the time but don't need to drink to function, or sister who drinks and gets dumb because she is dumb, or girlfriend who drinks and was hiding how much she was drinking.) I don't know.. well night everyone.. or good morning depending on if I can go back to sleep.

Gods little inside joke. :)

So my question is... if someone where to have pain on both sides during this middle cycle (which I do) does this mean your body drops two eggs or just one? I know some people drop to eggs and that is how feternal twins are created. I never intend to have children in my own body. I wish to implant my egg/eggs into someone else and have them do all the work :) biggg wimp.. lol. But since my other person has Lupus and cystic ovaries, I may end up being the body for the children. If I drop two eggs...... my first child could be my first children... God this isn't funny no more dropping two eggs you hear me.. Oh and dropping two eggs at once causing your body to waist more eggs, which in time shortens your time to bear children. A girl is born with all the eggs she will ever use.. dropping two eggs makes them run out faster, when a male makes more of theirs everyday..

If I choose to have children i need to do it sooner than later because i wont have eggs left... but then again.. i don't really want children. Though my better half does.. What a predicament.. lol...

Learned something new today and thought i would share it.. I had also never herd of this mid cycle pain thing.. Well enjoy my tid-bit of information.. I sure did.. :)

July 2-10 (fireworks and more)

So. It has come to another holiday in my journey though life. Its INDEPENDENCE DAY. I have never felt so much pride for America in my life until this forth of July. I am unsure why but I just felt really patriotic.

So this entry is about what I did during the days of the 2-10th of July.
 
My week started by painting my nails to look like flags.

( I don't have a good picture of my nails but you can see that my thumb nail matches the flag, except the stars on my nail are the thirteen starts in a circle. (its like six in a circle cant fit thirteen dots) I chose this flag because its the first flag ever made.)

Lindsay did my nails the first time. When they chipped I tried to repeat them. I was not as successful as Lindsay was. 

Well Lindsay and I planned to go see as many firework shows in as many towns as we could think of during the week of the forth. We had many planned but many shows were postponed until the rain showers were gone. Even with the cancellations I still saw more shows in one year than I had ever seen in my life during the forth.

                                          (This is the best firework from the Methuen MA, show.)

The first show we went to was the Methuen firework show. Lindsay lives there so we decided to go see hers. they were done on the second of July. The fireworks were so close they were awesome. However, the burning paper from the fireworks fell over the crowed of people and actually hurt some people. As long as you payed attention you were fine. I saw burning the paper falling so I moved out of the way and it burned the blanket where I had just been laying. I have a small burn mark on my work sweatshirt that wont come out. It makes me sad that the town is dumb enough to set off fireworks directly over their towns people instead of directly over the fire department lighting them off.

 (This is not one of the best one but it is one of the biggest ones. Amesbury had many fireworks which were    large in size and filled the huge sky.)

The second place we went, I meat up with my uncle and took him to the fireworks. (we went on the forth and on the way to his house there was a huge down poor so I thought the fireworks were going to get rained out but I also knew that one year it was raining and the town still set off the show.) He usually looks out his window to watch them. I love the fireworks in Amesbury MA, the town I mostly grew up in. I bought food and brought it to his house. Lindsay, my uncle, and I all had a cook out on his mini grill. Then we left for the fireworks. He has a bad hip so I couldn't get him to walk all the way up the big hill that most of the towns people sit on to watch the sky show. We made it half way up. It was still a perfect spot to watch them. There was a thunder storm going on in the corner of the sky while we were sitting in an open field on a large hill. I felt so exposed but it was safe since our sky was clear.

 

                                          (This is the best firework from the Groton MA show)

The third place we went just happen to be 1.5 hours away from my house, but we went anyway in hopes to bump into some one I knew. (We went on the 8th I think ) I tried to meet up with a friend who sort of blew me off. I told her I was in her town and would really like to meet up with her but she never found me. She said she was looking but I told her I was near the basket ball court and she said she was looking at the library. Clearly she was never going to find me. But that is all sad and done. I know not to expect much from her i guess. Four years of college and working hard on both our homework meant nothing to her. I feel so used. Karma gets those who are mean. AAAAANNNYYYWAY. I had never seen the fireworks from this town and didn't know what to expect. They were small but were really pretty. This was the only town to set of a heart. I am so going back next year.

I have a friend who writes an awesome blog about her adventures of her life, and I just couldn't imagine how she encountered so many animals. Well let me tell you my short time in Groton I finally understood some of what she posts in her blogs. Since it had rained there were frogs everywhere. I kept making Lindsay stop on the road so I could chase the frogs across the street and out of danger of being squished. Then we saw a deer standing on the side of the road. It was so freaking scary. Lindsay said out loud "I feel the need to lock the door." I laughed and said deers don't have thumbs they cant get the door open. But if they want in they will just take out a window. We ended up scaring away the deer by moving the car closer to it so I could try and take a picture. I missed and she ran off. Hope she is safe and isn't trying to cross the road any time soon. Then there was this really small mouse the size of a baby hamster that was trying to cross the street. Lindsay stopped on the road and we watch the little thing running back and forth between the middle of our side of the street and the grass line. Eventually the mouse ran into the grass and that was the end of the mouse crossing. Then when we thought it was safe to drive on more and a cream colored cat came out of no where and ran in front of the car luckily Lindsay braked and the stupid think made it to the other side of the road.

 

(My town, as in Raymond NH, didn't do smiles or hearts, however their fireworks were large and full of color, and my favorite firework was short off. The one that looks like a weeping willow, but no picture)

The fourth place we went for a firework show happens to be my town. I had a wonderful lady from Ala-non come to my fireworks all the way from Nashua. She said she loved taking pictures of the fireworks and when I mentioned that my fireworks are a week late (July 9th) and she drove up. We went to the down fare the three of us. We had so much fun blowing bubbles and eating strange foods and you wouldn't have even known that she was older than our ages put together. :) but I love having her around just the same. She understands so much more about life and the things I say, than most people do. She doesn't do sponsoring which makes me sad but I understand her reasoning. ANYWAY the fireworks in my town were larger than I'm used to because I went to a different spot to see them than i usually do. I would usually see them in my yard but instead we adventured out and watched them at the middle school. So much bigger and way louder and so much more beautiful.

Over all, I had the best forth of July week that I have ever had. And I cant wait to do it again.