Hi....

So I really haven't been blogging much in the past few weeks... Or at all I should say... I have lost most motivation to do anything... Not in the I'm depressed kind of way... The I need to keep my mind off the things that are happening right now so I will just Facebook my life away... I know its unhealthy but so isn't crying yourself to sleep... If I let my mind wander to the dark corners of my current existence I would fall apart. I still have been attending alanon and want its magical powers of fixing things to work for me so bad I decided to dive into the forth step... not sure if I'm at that step or not but at this point I want to be. I ask god for his will instead of demanding him to listen to me... I now just tell him to hurry up I can't wait forever for his will to finally be clear for me... I believe he understands me and is ok with my inpatients... I know my life is unmanageable and I try hard daily not to control... And I believe in. A higherer so that's the first three steps... I may just be at step four. I have a sponcer who is to busy for me but I know she cairs... I have wonderful alanon friends who actually want to know how your doing and the answer “fine“ isn't an ok answer. They follow that question with many more... They care that my parents are really getting a divorce this time instead of threatening it.. They care that I'm upsett I have no idea how long I have till I'm forced to move... They were happy to hear I might move to Nashua if god wills it.. They care want to fix things and may stumble while doing it. They love  i walked in the room and after learning about my issues and problems they love me more and more I i f same about them... They are my family