Alanon teaches you to just let things happen and then decide what to do.. but is there ever a time when i should tell alanon to mind its own business and plan away like crazy...?
I came home from work on break to mom telling me that dad and her WILL be getting a divorce instead of her usually i wish for a divorce speech.. She then decides to tell me that I might have less than a year to find a new job and a new place to live.. I just brushed it off at first but then i thought about it.. I asked mom if she is serious about the divorce and she says yes but she always says that.. how is this time different.. But this time she talked about alimony and other things she never mentioned before... I just said ok good to know.. walked away and finished making my lunch. I went upstairs to go and play on Facebook like i do everyday after work.. and then the tears came. I thought I would be fine and not let it bother me because it isnt a for sure thing until the papers are signed which nether parent has on their body. So its no big deal right.. well i guess it is.. they fight like crazy and say mean things... so splitting up should be an easy thing to handle emotionally right... ? I dont know what i should be feeling right now.. if i should be ok with it or not.. But at this very moment its like this little black hole i have had my whole life is slowly being stretched open again.. and every time this dumb hole gets bigger i do and say and feel dumb things.. and just end up the only one getting hurt.. so please pas the supper glue so i can stop it from stretching.. i wanna burst into tears and scream but this isnt my part to mettle in.. my parents deserve happiness and if that means splitting up then that is what will happen.. :(
I came home from work on break to mom telling me that dad and her WILL be getting a divorce instead of her usually i wish for a divorce speech.. She then decides to tell me that I might have less than a year to find a new job and a new place to live.. I just brushed it off at first but then i thought about it.. I asked mom if she is serious about the divorce and she says yes but she always says that.. how is this time different.. But this time she talked about alimony and other things she never mentioned before... I just said ok good to know.. walked away and finished making my lunch. I went upstairs to go and play on Facebook like i do everyday after work.. and then the tears came. I thought I would be fine and not let it bother me because it isnt a for sure thing until the papers are signed which nether parent has on their body. So its no big deal right.. well i guess it is.. they fight like crazy and say mean things... so splitting up should be an easy thing to handle emotionally right... ? I dont know what i should be feeling right now.. if i should be ok with it or not.. But at this very moment its like this little black hole i have had my whole life is slowly being stretched open again.. and every time this dumb hole gets bigger i do and say and feel dumb things.. and just end up the only one getting hurt.. so please pas the supper glue so i can stop it from stretching.. i wanna burst into tears and scream but this isnt my part to mettle in.. my parents deserve happiness and if that means splitting up then that is what will happen.. :(
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